"sex...."

Asked by iemus 17 months ago

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im a christian and i decided to not have sex with my bf anymore. it was very hard for me to tell him that bc i love him so much and i really loved the intimacy we had. my bf respected my decision but then now he tells me that we won't be going back to his house any more (or anytime soon anyways)...when i gave up sex i didn't want to sacrifice all the other things that we do at his house....he says he's just trying to help....is he? or is it cause he doesn't want me near his bed/home anymore....


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"You deserve a trophy for character and courage!!!!"
 by GrayGirl on Aug 25 2008 (17 months ago)
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The king's trophy

 

Okay. Couple of things....you did the right thing for you.  That is what is important.  There are too many details left out, but, the first thing you must do is pray.  Ask God for wisdom, and patience and understanding and strength.  Since I don't know details, it's hard to say anything more.  If you think this is a boyfriend that you really want to marry someday, stick with it and work on it, but if not,  break up and start moving on.  There could be any number of reasons why  he is acting this way and I won't speculate.  I don't criticize him, either, he is doing what is best for himself. God bless you and stay on the right path!!!!!!  I wish I was that wise in my younger years.
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"He sounds like an outstanding young man!"
 by tuppence on Aug 25 2008 (17 months ago)
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He is not only respecting your decision (and good for you!), but he is trying to help by removing temptation from you both.  Yes, it's really hard, especially if you have already had a sexual relationship. 

 

Respect him, now, and cooperate with him.  As you two approach this as a team you will find you become closer, not further apart.  God bless you both.
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"I would say help."
 by Pales on Aug 25 2008 (17 months ago)
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I would say help you meet your goal.  If that is where you had sex and you don’t go there any more, the main temptation is removed.

 

I would say he is trying to help the only way he knows how at this point.

 

I would consider everything that MightyCow said in comment #1.  It is very important.  Much more info was provided here than you asked for, but should have asked about.

 

 
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"I am sorry but I feel that you are wrong:"
 by Delvet on Aug 25 2008 (17 months ago)
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From what you say you have been having sex on a regular routine, now you want to stop because a religion. Why now after you went all the way and you admit that you also like it. You are giving your boy friend rejection showing you no longer really care for him. Rejection is the hardest thing any one can except. I think you have lost this boy friend, it is time for you and him to move on. Be up front with your next boy friend. I might do it but I might change my mine because of religion. You are so wrong! If you had said this from the beginning and had not been enjoying it then it would be okay for the two of you to do with out. It sounds to me you are trying to make him marry you after the fact that doesn't work. Sorry to say this but you sound very in mature.
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Latest post on this question's discussion board:

i feel the same as chowfan and mighty cow. they've said everything i would want to say but better and more elaborate. and no, i'm not going to h.e.double hockey sticks
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