Ya'know... Men are not that complicated.
In general, when a man says something, it does not need to be interpreted. He says he is afraid to be a boyfriend because of your reaction to the competition you would have for his time. Pretty clear to me. He doesn't want to be a boy friends because he doesn't want to have to answer to anyone about how he spends his time. He is willing to date, he is willing to have fun (or even woopee), but the emotional commitment is not there, and to push him on the issue is foolish. If you are happy, overjoyed, ready and willing to be second to his work, then stick around. If you do stick around, be ready to NEVER get married, Never put any demands on his time. Take what you get, and be happy with that.
Most women are not able or willing to do that. Most women want to be the first thing in their man's life (a big reason why most men are not very successful in their careers or education).
As a guy. . .
There are two possibilities.
One, he is warning you that he is married to his job/lifestyle, and that he likes you enough as a person that he feels you should find a person who is better able to meet the criteria needed to be your beaux.
Two, he's trying to say nicely that you're too needy for him.
Sorry if it seems harsh, but that's what Guyspeak translates to.
Sounds like one of two things
It could either be that he is being brutally honest in that he knows he would be a bad/ uncommitted/ neglecting boyfriend, or that he is just bringing up a bunch of things to try to let you down as gently as he can without saying flat out "We don't/won't work." In either case, it doesn't seem like he's too interested. When I was dating my wife, I was busy, but always made time for her. We also visited each other even though we lived 100 miles apart. After all, we all know that we make time for the things we like and people we love.
Maybe he'll come around in time, but if I were you, I'd wait for him to show some interest before trying to pursue a deeper relationship.
It sounds like he has low
self esteem. Maybe he has gotten out of a bad relationship and the reasons that he has given you may have been what caused his break up. I bet he has been hurt in the past.
Tell him that you want to spend time with him when you both are free and that you are not demanding anything from him. You may want to mention that you like him and want to get to know him better and that you enjoy spending time with him. This may help him if he has low self esteem.
|Sources: personal opinion|