"Okay, I am going to admit it. I am down...real down..usually I can climb above it...but it is getting to me"

Alaska is COLD.  In the summer the mosquitoes are big enough to cast a shadow!  And they come in swarms. 

What you need is a break from all this.  I don't know how to give it to you, but I can copy off a poem that has helped me at times:

Let me do my work each day;

And if the darkened hours of despair overcome me,

May I not forget the strength that comforted me

In the desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright hours that found me

Walking over the silent hills of my childhood,

Or dreaming on the margin of the quiet river,

When a light glowed within me,

And I promised my early God to have courage

Amid the tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness

And from the sharp passions of ungarded momehts.

May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.

Though the world know me not,

May my thoughts and actions be such

As shall keep me friendly with myself.

Lift my eyes from the earth,

And let me not forget the uses of the stars.

Forbid that I should judge others,

Lest I condemn myself.

Let me not follow the clamor of the world,

But walk calmly in my path.

Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am;

And keep ever burning before my vagrant steps

The kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity overtake me

And I come not within the sight of the castle of my dreams,

Teach me still to be thankful for life,

And for time's olden memories that are good and sweet;

And my the evening's twilight find me gentle still.

Max Ehrmann

 

Hold on, dear friend, and know that God knows what He is doing.  One of the common prayers in my life is also the shortest:  "Help!"  And He does and He will.  Sometimes He allows it all to pile up for the express purpose of causing us to finally turn to Him.  And He is waiting.  He knows your heart.  He knows the problems.  And He knows the answers.

This past few weeks I was in the same boat.  I took two days off from work and had a little "ME TIME" which helped a lot.  Gives you time to clear your mind. 

Pamper yourself. Have something new done with your hair. manicure, Hot bath with candles around, read a good book, take a walk in the park, do a little shopping (if ya can't aford it like me, I window shop and treat myself to a prezel. , take yourself out for a nice dinner (I take myself out and it's nice (for even more fun have a little note book with you the waiters will think you doing a check on the :),  etc. It's the little things you do for yourself that will help!

You have a lot of things pushing you into a corner and if you give yourself a little "ME TIME" you will come out of it better

Be gentle with yourself ...

.... change takes time.

my best advice for you would be to sit with the discomfort of the feelings you are experiencing.  It takes a huge amount of emotional energy to chase away our feelings of depression, anxiety, and lonliness.  The more time we spend trying to get rid of the feelings, the more we will delay feeling better.  When you think about it, you are probably telling yourself you are down (as is obvious from the question) which reminds yourself that you are down which makes you think about being down....that cycle is hard to break.  I have experienced this before. Sometimes, you have to say "Self, I feel like crap and I am down"(for whatever reason) and now I am going to go on with my day and not focus on my feelings".  The good news is that you will eventually feel better and it will come sooner than later if you just feel the bad feelings.  Another great approach which is less demanding emotionally is walking.  When I used to be depressed, I would take very long walks- preferabbly outside.  The motion of walking and the time it takes will naturally lift your mood.  While you are walking, tell yourself you will be "ok" because you will be.  Good luck. We all experience this from time to time.  It is being human.