"Why does my 30 yr. old daughter only send me a card for my birthday?"

Your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, and she is old enough to know better.  Did something happen between her mom and you that she resents?  Has her mother said things to her about you?  Nonetheless, she is 30 years old, and she is old enough to take responsibility for her actions.  I would simply ask her about it.  There may be some deep-seeded issue(s) that the two of you need to sit down and discuss (just father and daughter).

I actually went through a similar situation with my own father, and while I cannot give you his perspective, I can give you mine.  My father had an affair with a married woman while my parents were still married.  My father involved my baby sister in the new relationship and turned her against our mother.  My mother was (and still is) a very hard working woman who always put her family first.  My father went through a mid-life crisis, and he was selfish.  It took me three years of not speaking to him and then for him to have a massive heart attack for me to forgive him.  We did a LOT of talking while he recovered from his heart attack, and needless to say, we are very close to this day.  My parents are also very good friends, again, too (which baffles most people), but it's amazing for our family as a whole.

My suggestion is to sit down and talk with her...find out what she is thinking, find out what her feelings are, and most importantly, tell her what your feelings are and what you are thinking...be honest and tell her that it hurts your feelings.  You will have a new-found respect for one another, and your relationship may be even better than before!

Good luck!

There could be any number of reasons.

Maybe she doesn't know you very well and can't think of a gift.

Maybe you said something at some point that made her think you didn't want her to buy you gifts.

Maybe she's mad at you.

Maybe she thinks you have enough stuff, or that anything she can afford wouldn't be good enough.

Maybe....maybe....maybe.....

The only way to know for sure would be to ask the question. Just don't be accusatory. Otherwise you'll never know. Try something like:

"Honey, you know I love the birthday cards you get me every year, but the fact that you buy your mother gifts and not me has me worried. Have I done or said something to hurt your feelings. I certainly would hope that you would be able to tell me if I have."

What an awkward situation and I really sympathise with you.

Would it be possible, before your next birthday, for your wife to casually ask your daughter what she is going to get you for a present, just as if she does buy you a gift. This way she may perhaps mention why she does not buy you one.

You don't say if your daughter has always been like this or if it is fairly recent, perhaps she feels that men aren't all that keen on presents whereas women are.  Meanwhile, are you difficult to buy for, is your birthday near Christmas or something like that and she assumes that the present for the one occasion covers both? Have you ever brushed off a present she has given you or have you given one away that you should have cherished?

The only suggestion I can think of is that you post a wishlist on Amazon, or elsewhere, and let it be casually known that you have put the list there to experiment to see if it makes choosimg presents for you easier.  I appreciate it is difficult but you may just have to accept that this is the way it is, you do get a card and if you let this eat away at you it will make you bitter and you may end up quarrelling with her and lose her altogether.

Hope you find the answer soon.

Probably because she thinks you have all you need & she can't think of what else you might like. A mother is easy to please with even a small gift: she looks beyond the gift at the thought that has gone in to choosing the gift & at what it represents = love, thanks & appreciation. She doesn't judge, just accepts greatfully. :) Women know what women like too, so that helps. Mothers and daughters are usually very close, so know each other almost like they know themselves.

On the other hand, buying for a father is not so easy. If the item is not practical or to his taste, he may just disregard it & think nothing more of it. If so, why bother in the first place? She may think like this. Maybe she gives to you in other ways, but you just don't notice. Maybe she prefers to take you out or treat you to something, or just visit more often. These are great practical gifts & worth far more than any object!

You should not place such importance on gifts.....her love should be enough! ;)

Of course, if it does worry you so much, why not just casually ask her. She IS your daughter I take it: what do you have to fear! :)